Reflections on a Thursday night

Been strange times lately. A close friend going through a death. Really odd family stuff. Weird work stuff.

Let me tell you something, career wise-I'll do a lot of stuff most people won't. I'd throw myself down a flight of stairs for the right price. I've done a LOT of really odd stuff in my various careers in all its incarnations. But you know what really kinds of gets me? Now I have to call a professional clown on a semi-regular basis at work. I'm a little scared about it.

What if I slip up and call them by their stage name? Maybe it would trigger some weird sh*t in them, flip them into their alter ego and they might open up all kinds of hell on me.

The last thing Maximus needs right now is a clown with a grudge.

*On a side note, I think "Clown with a Grudge" would be a pretty cool band name.

Favorite random quote from a friend

"Its like they think they re-invented anal sex or something."

Yeah, I think she was a little tipsy. But I never want to forget this.

Hey....I KNOW what's been missing at work.

"Just realized what I'm missing at work. I need a job again where I can get paid to honk a girls boobs and have her show nekkid pictures to me n'stuff. I miss that.

Damn, do I miss that.

God bless that little screwed up chick."

I shared this with a friend of mine earlier and he agreed. His response:

"Man, you had naked pictures, boob squeezes, bang your direct reports, make pancakes......it's amazing you didn't work more. That's a hard package to beat."

Those were some pretty decent benefits...

That and taking 3 hour lunches. Expense accounts. Getting the company to sign off to buy me power tools.

FUCK! I gotta get another job like that. Well, that and getting paid about 4x what I'm currently making at my shitty job right now.

No wait...

Work is sucking the life out of me.

I remember one time, about 15 years ago. I had a vacation with my girlfriend. Just her and me. An awesome roadtrip down to So Cal. 10 days of drinking and fucking in San Diego, Hollywood, LA and San Fransisco. Lots of time at theme parks, Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain, restaurants and returning to hotels to fuck like rabbits.

It was a total escape. An awesome vacation.

Consequently, I dreaded going back to work.

I remember pulling into the parking lot at work that first day back. My mouth filled with bile, my mind with self loathing. Hating that I needed to go back into that office.

Thoughts of, "Fuck it! I could get a job as fuckin' Goofy at Disneyland instead. Or maybe be one of those guys that loads the people on the boats in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Fuck man, I could dress like a robot and sit on a park bench in Hollywood making 'beep beep' noises so people would shove coins and dollars in my slot."

Anything is preferable to going back in that office.

Walking from my car to the front door, I remember clearly (and this was 15 years ago) feeling like a cloud was going straight over my head. To survive, I've got to dumb it down and just deal & get back in there.

But I did. And stayed there awhile longer. Til I left for a similar, higher paying job.
===========
I just had my 3 month anniversary at my new job yesterday and it feels remarkably similar to that old job.

Jesus, I've got to get out of corporate America and do something else.

Facebook is a waste of time

I have nothing clever to say right now.

Gamestorm 12

Saturday is nice weather we're having.

Is it too nice to be indoors playing boardgames all day? May be going to the park instead. Need to progress my experiments making the birds dive-bomb pedestrians. US military industrial complex will never buy my project at this rate.

Update

No longer unemployed. Will be updating site description to "A shotgun blast of awesome-ness" all over your face.

Reflections on a Friday night

I thought by this point in my life I would have accidentally dug up an Indian burial ground, been haunted by it and have to go on a magical quest to put things right again.

TV lied to me, mang.