In his lifetime, what’s an average number of drinks for a man to get thrown in his face?

I'm just askin'.

First time-

One time I was drinking with about 15-20 co-workers after work. Stef was there, along with her boyfriend, Little Pete. I was friends with both these jokers. We all partied together often. I'd taken Stef SCUBA diving before, even though that pissed "The Demon" (my ex) off beyond belief, there was nothing there. I thought so, anyway. Even though Stef did have a mean, tight little body.

Anyway, when she dragged me out on the dance floor around the corner from where Little Pete was playing pool, I didn't really think about it. Until she started making out with me. I was surprised & initially relaxed into it. Then I tried to detach myself. What the fuck was this?

It wasn't easy trying to disengage. She was an aerobics instructor & it felt like I was trying to wrestle a ham sandwich away from an octopus. She was a strong little spider-monkey.

I said, "What are you doing?" The look she gave me was totally mischievous. She was a little drunk, but not that much. I started walking back to our table. She has this pouty expression, stomped her foot & followed me back.

Then, like, an hour later (around 1 A.M.-ish) we were all starting to get pretty hammered. I was sitting at the table across from Stef & there were 4 other people at the table. I don't even remember what the fuck I said & I suddenly had her martini tossed in my face. The waitress just delivered it, so it was ice cold. All I remember was "What the fuck?" and thinking how cold it was & I wish I'd had my mouth open.

I actually might have said something that made me deserve it that time. I think we were talking about when I left my bra in her microwave at the costume party.

A lot of crazyness at that party. Everytime you opened a door at that party, you'd catch a different couple people porking away at each other. I remember one of her friends was getting spit-roasted by a couple dudes in the bathroom & we just left the door open for awhile. They didn't seem to care.

But who knows what I really said or if I deserved it when I got the drink thrown at me. We were all drunk as fuck.

*I should have hit that, though.

Coming soon! - “You will regret all the ones you don’t screw.” Wise words.